:: "Bring Out Ya Dead!"..."I'm Not Dead Yet!"

Bit morbid? Probably. Moving along...

Happy Birthday to Me! :)

So the last few days until my 29th birthday are rapidly dwindling down. (Crack all the over-the-hill jokes you like, but keep in mind how little they affect us CFers ;) There are only two things that I want for my birthday - One of which has been discussed and will hopefully still be granted at the end of March after my PICC is out and my IVs are over - But the other is more unorthodox. I fully intend to carpe the hell out of my last diems in my twenties, but one day, that may not be possible for me without an organ transplant. The best gift that anyone can give me would be to officially list yourselves on the national organ donation registry. Yes, I'm serious. Currently more than 110,000 people across the United States are anxiously awaiting life-saving transplants...One donor can save up to eight lives and one day, one of those lives will be mine. I've been a donor on my driver's license for years, but I just recently registered at DonateLifeTexas.org and in honor of my decision and my birthday, my mama gifted me with the new license plates above that I personalized myself. Love them!!! :) Obviously in my case, my organs will most likely go to CF research instead of transplants, but will still be lifesaving in their own right. Once you've passed, your organs will be of as much use to you as your credit card, so why not make a second lease on this beautiful life possible for someone less fortunate? DonateLife.net. Do it. For me. And then let me know so I can smother you with thank yous :)

I'm also super excited and proud to announce that on 12.12.12, I'll be in sunny Florida standing beside the lovely miss Jessika as one of her bridesmaids! :D I won't lie...Between how happy I am for her, how honored I feel to have been asked and the anticipatory glee of finally getting to vacation to my one beachy dream destination that I've never been to, I got a little teary eyed...Before I started doing my happy dance. As an added bonus, by then she'll be all transplanted up and enjoying a new lease on life that will only be made that much more amazing once she and Leighton are husband and wife. And I get to be a part of all of that? Who says there are no such things as fairy tales?

My weekly follow-up with my Infectious Disease Specialist was Wednesday morning to draw blood, check antibiotic levels, change my PICC dressing and pick up this week's box of IV meds and supplies. I'm slowly becoming accustomed to my new Siamese twin. For the first few days I ran mid-grade fevers which, thankfully, have left and not returned, but have now been replaced with extreme fatigue, a fluctuating appetite, irritability (OK bitchiness...Let's call a spade a spade...), the inability to hear out of my right ear first thing in the morning and most recently, nightmares. Every. Single. Night :-p And the loaded question: "Are you feeling better?" Yes and no. My coughing is more productive when I wake up and after my treatments so my breathing is increasingly becoming easier, but the side effects have me so worn down that it's difficult to notice. Plus I'm going on two months of being out of Pulmozyme, so there's the added effort of getting well without that. But IVs are rough for everyone, so I have zero room to gripe, and I'm committed to doing whatever it takes to get better. It may not always be at the forefront of my mind, but the fact that I can still GET well trumps any complaints that I might have.

"For we walk by faith, not by sight." - 2 Corinthians 5:7. It never ceases to amaze me how certain verses can be as cathartic as hearing the right song lyrics. Thank you, Lord, for continuing to give me strength and patience in more ways than one ♥

:: All You Need is Love...And Sometimes Meds

First and foremost, the most important news of the evening: My darling li'l Jessika got engaged tonight!!!!! And it would be 156% impossible to be any happier for her :) I've watched my precious friend fight CF for going on a decade and she never stops smiling, but that smile has been even brighter in the two years that Leighton has been in her life. It's rare these days to see the unconditional determination and dedication he puts into showing her love and making her happy and it makes me smile to know that she will live the rest of her life adored, safe and well taken care of. New husband...New lungs...New life. It's gonna be a beautiful thing. I love you, kiddo ♥

As for my own Hearts and Hugs Day, it was spent in bed, but I have no complaints. I received a bouquet of gorgeous hot pink roses from my always sweet and thoughtful friend Mike in Florida and an adorable, wide-eyed stuffed puppy wearing a pink boa from my mom that Biscuit keeps sizing up and growling at. Both were complete surprises and put smiles on my face :) Honestly, I've never put a lot of stock into Valentine's Day. No reason really...I've just never been one of those girls that HAS to have plans for fear that I might appear unlovable. True love is all around me every moment of every day, from my cysters to my mama to my friends all over the world who let me know here and there that they're thinking of me. I could not feel more fulfilled or grateful.

My follow-up with the Infectious Disease Specialist was yesterday morning and I was fairly confident that I looked and sounded better than I did a month ago. Apparently not, because instead of leaving with another round of Doxycycline and Voriconazole for my Aspergillus, I left with an order for a PICC line and the excited and thrill-filled expectations {end sarcasm} of my first home IV experience. I know I have zero room to complain...Many of my fellow CFers do home IVs on a regular basis and truthfully, I WOULD rather do them in the comfort of my own home with my pup snuggled up beside me than be immobile in the hospital. What I am NOT looking forward to, however, is that I'll be on a 24-hour continuous infusion for the one-month duration of the treatment. That seems crazy excessive to me, but I ran it by my CF Specialist and he thinks the regimen sounds reasonable. So bright and early tomorrow morning, I go back to the clinic for basic training on how to be both patient AND nurse (Judy! Ruth! Christy! Save me!) and to pick up my first week's worth of medicine. I'm also thinking of starting a video blog with this new experience, so if I do, I'll tag my first installment on the end of this post tomorrow as an edit. Who knows? Could be fun.

Breathe it all in. Love it all out ♥

[edit]
Here we go, ladies and gents! Vlog numero uno...Intro to Home IVs. Let me know what you think! :)

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:: Cowgirl Up

This past Saturday was the final day of the Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo and I was privileged enough to attend with my very favorite family :) For those who are unaware of what this event is, it's a three-week extravaganza that includes livestock auctions, commercial exhibits, bull-riding and the largest indoor rodeo in the world. For the final auction that we attended, kids from all over Texas breed and raise steers to sell annually. Companies bid on the livestock by the pound and the kids receive every penny to either put toward cattle for the following year, their college tuition, or both. The Fort Worth Syndicate is a group of businessmen who push for the companies to purchase the cattle for more than they're worth...If a steer is worth around $2 per pound, the Syndicate urges companies to purchase for $5-$10 instead so that the kids make more toward whatever they're saving for. They make a LOT of money for the kids' futures - Saturday's Grand Champion steer sold for $250,000. All in all, it's a very charitable event and a really fun thing to experience firsthand.

Stock Showin' It Up with Mr McMichael

I know it sounds like a silly Texas stereotype, but between the company I was with and the Stock Show itself, I felt more at home than I have in a long time. Aside from the family oil business, my dad bred and raised Santa Gertrudis cattle and Quarter and Paint Horses when I was younger, so my childhood was split between our ranch in East Texas and the Fort Worth Stockyards. In my early 20s, I veered away from everything country for as long as I could, but the older I'm getting, the more I'm beginning to re-embrace my roots, from the soulful Texas country music to the cowboy hats and boots to even loving the scent of horse stables. Everyone has their happy place and it's very hard to put into words the feelings of joy and peace that I experience when I step back into that lifestyle, even if only for a moment.

As for the rest of my week, I've more or less spent it in bed. I'm going on day five of a nasty stomach virus that even the infamous CF appetite couldn't touch until last night, when I finally ventured back into solid food with a few pieces of smoked salmon sashimi (as unappealing as that may sound, seafood has always been easiest for me to digest) and today, half of a grilled chicken sandwich, half of a bowl of soup, a cup of fruit and some lemon Jell-O. All accompanied with nausea and sharp, shooting pains, but keeping it all down is progress in itself. I have my follow-up with McDonald, the Infectious Disease Specialist, on Monday to see home IVs for the Aspergillus on my lungs are necessary, but I don't see my CF Specialist, Davis, until the 22nd. Hopefully between the stomach bug, the increased shortness of breath and the 102.3 fever I fought off a couple of weeks ago, they'll activate their Wonder Twin powers and figure out a way to fix me up good.

Sleep, come easy to me tonight.