It sounds fairly simple. What could make life easier than turning all of your problems, questions and worries over to someone else and letting them fix things? What could possibly be more liberating? But for a girl who seemed to set up permanent camp in "the weeds" as a server and who drove herself into the hospital on more than one occasion while working for Dr G, trust me when I say that it is not.
It is difficult, frustrating and disheartening to feel like every time you take two steps forward, you take twelve back; To make decisions and fear that they may be the biggest mistakes of your life; To walk with no knowledge of when or if you'll reach the destination you're aiming for; And to hang onto something that you believe with all of your heart, even when it seems hopeless. Not because you have tangible proof that your fight isn't in vain, but because of a quiet voice that encourages, "Walk this way. Even if you don't want to. Even if you don't understand why. Even if it hurts to the depth of your soul. It will be worth it."
For there is no feeling more extraordinary when the pain seems unbearable and nothing makes sense and you're on the verge of giving up than stumbling upon unmistakable reassurance, no matter how small, that through all of the unknowns, you are exactly where you should be according to what God has planned for your life. That promise alone makes even the hardest days manageable.
Don't get me wrong...I am aware that we as human beings have free will and that we are all responsible for our own choices. Wherein lies the challenge is that it is very much a choice to pay attention to or to ignore the voice guiding you. It is very much a choice to walk a different route because it's easier. And it is very much a choice to venture off the beaten path with nothing except blind faith and trust to guide you.
And trust Him I will. Although it would be nice to see clearly every once in a while.
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