:: I Do!! Do You??

I would like to preface this by saying that I DO have my own identity.

Although I was told numerous times in high school that I should pursue a career in writing, it's not my desire to come across as a Sarah Jessica Parker wannabe who imagines that my Tuscan-inspired apartment in a suburb of Dallas is any comparison to a New York City highrise. Also in the mix, which fashionista Carrie never had to worry about: A blue and grayishly transparent mouthpiece of a Nebulized breathing treatment that sounds uncannily like Darth Vader's mask when I inhale. Add a scruffy lapdog and the fact that (for the most part) I get along far better with males than females and I hope you're starting to notice the similarity points dropping off, too.

So let's jump ahead to the real reason for this blog, besides providing me with a creative outlet so as not to drive my friends nuts. I've read multiple variations of  Cystic Fibrosis blogs...Inspirational messages from one CFer to another, exercises to try in hopes of strengthening the lungs instead of coughing them up, parents' heart-wrenching eyewitness accounts...But I have yet to come across one that focuses on everyday life and most importantly, dating with this looming over both people's heads. Because no matter how much of a positive fighter the CF patient is and no matter how much both parties pretend there's nothing abnormal about their relationship...It's there. And anyone who says they don't let it affect them or their relationship even one teensy weensy little bit is either a blithering idiot or a bold-faced liar.

The basics: Cystic Fibrosis is a genetic terminal illness that affects the respiratory and digestive systems of approximately 75,000 people worldwide. A faulty protein leads to the production of abnormally thick mucus that primarily damages the lungs by creating a breeding ground for harmful bacteria that leads to frequent and painful lung infections. Each lung infection scars the lungs and over time, makes them unusable one small patch at a time. This ultimately results in a lack of proper oxygen and carbon dioxide exchange making each labored, burning breath noticeable. The same mucus also blocks the pancreas from secreting the necessary enzymes that it takes to break down and healthily absorb nutrients from food, often resulting in malnutrition. The average life expectancy of a CF patient ranges between 35 and 40 years old, though many die during childhood before the disease has a chance to become properly maintained. And although breakthroughs in research are increasing the life expectancy year by year, there is no cure.

Now call me crazy, but most solid and happy relationships and marriages are built on stability. What about THAT screams stability?!

I think my friend's girlfriend (both of whom have CF) put it best when she said, "I'm so happy we get to grow old into our late 30s together" in that morbidly sadistic sense of humor that most CFers share when it comes to death. The joke lightens the tension (kind of), but the taboo truth remains...Who in their right mind chooses to marry someone who has a good chance of unintentionally abandoning their family far too soon? Not to mention Life Expectancy + Need & Desire for a Normal Chance at Life = Clinginess Squared. Especially in females. I'm ten thousand times better about going with the flow and letting things develop slowly than I used to be, but I remember a time when who I loved was more about who proclaimed their love for me (and the race to do so).

The bottom line is this: Life with an expiration date tends to be much more fast-paced and thrill-seeking, with less time and tolerance for games and bullshit than someone living life at a "normal" speed. Mixing the two opposing points of view and having the parties truly empathize for how the other thinks takes time, patience and a genuine desire to work toward the common goal of making the time they have together last as long as possible with as much happiness as possible. And that, my friends, is VERY hard to find.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go practice my "I Do"s in front of the mirror. Just in case.